Some fun with Mother
Mother Said (This is what my mother said)
1. When I was just a little lad
My mother said to me
Son, don’t go down to Everett
Where life is very free
But I went down there anyway
She could not tell me ‘no’
If your mother says don’t do this
The opposite you go

One cold wintry morning
While snow lay on the ground
The trees were hung with icicles
So festive all around
The flag pole looked inviting
With frosty icy flakes
My mother said don’t lick it
But I licked it anyway (say with tongue stuck out)

Chorus:
Oh mother dear I’m sorry
Contrary as I be
I’ve written down and memorized
The things you said to me
Don’t do this and don’t do that
I might as well be dead
Though I didn’t listen
This is what my mother said

2. When I was just a young lad
I went off to the fair
My mother she had warned me
To be so careful there
I came upon a kissing booth
I up and paid my dime
I was on the road to ruin
I was 8 times in the line

The trouble at that kissing booth
Has caused me awful grief
My lips they felt like rubber
I can’t get no relief
I used to use my lips for good
Not sealed up like a mime
But now they’re good for nothing
They’re puckered all the time


Chorus:
Oh mother dear I’m sorry
Contrary as I be
I’ve written down and memorized
The things you said to me
Don’t do this and don’t do that
It’s underlined in red
Though I didn’t listen
This is what my mother said

3. My father warned me daily
Son, get a proper dog
A dog can hunt, a dog can warn
If trouble comes around
But the neighbor’s cat had kittens
I thought that I was strong
But when they climbed my pantleg
I had to take them home

At least I did not have a pig,
A monkey or a snake
A low down rhinoceros
Would be a big mistake
I could have had horse, of course,
I would have tried to ride
Instead, I bought a python
And mother’s still inside

Chorus:
Oh father dear I’m sorry
Contrary as I be
I’ve written down and memorized
The things you said to me
Don’t do this and don’t do that
It’s buzzing round my head
Though I didn’t listen
This is what my father said

4. Mom and dad both warned me
Stay out of Johnson’s yard
And don’t cut through their pasture
The long way’s not so hard
They’ve got a bull they’re breeding
He’s trouble guaranteed
Thank god there was a ladder
In Johnson’s apple tree.

If someone says they don’t believe
These stories that I tell
Just send them down to Johnson’s farm
They’ll see I’m doing well
I’m up here picking apples
I’m up here for the view
I’m waiting till that bovine
Has better things to do

Chorus:
Oh mom and dad I’m sorry
Contrary as I be
I’ve written down and memorized
The things you said to me
Don’t do this and don’t do that
Do something else instead
Though I didn’t listen
This is what my parents said